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Kind and Gracious

2/25/2020

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"Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. Proverbs 23:23"

LISTEN TO:  
 " 
Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzGAYNKDyIU


Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.  
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

As part of our 2020 resolution to become more Christ-like, we continue our walk through Paul's inspired passage on love.  Paul breaks down for us what Love does, just as Jesus models for us in his actions and teachings how love acts and reacts in the world.  Today we meditate on the the bad habit of being irritable and resentful and how it gets in the way of love.
   

A little child was overhead praying, “Dear Lord, please make all the bad people good, and all the good people nice. Amen.”  

Many of the habits that keep us from loving well Paul talks about are ordinary reactions we have.  Many good people, God-loving people, decent people, have problems with irritability and resentment. Irritability especially raises its head if we are stressed. We get snappy, touchy, especially if we've over-scheduled our day, and our priorities have gotten out of control.  Sometimes irritability can be a manifestation of depression, so it should be taken seriously and checked out.  When we find ourselves getting grouchy, we need to stop - figure out what's happening.  Give God the burden, or get help.  That's how we manifest love for ourselves, and ultimately for others in our lives.

Another way irritability and resentments surface is when we may have "control" issues  -- and find ourselves acting sharply in the face of delays, mistakes,  accidents.   We are resentful when we are faced with a perceived/or actual wrong -- and we can't let go of it.  We perseverate over all the bad things done to us -- over the accomplishments of overs which should have been ours. Irritability and resentfulness are common as grass-- overgrown grass. We can't see pass our resentments to count our blessings. We are blind to for others who have it tougher than ourselves. We stop reaching out and lending a hand.  If allowed to become patterns in our lives, we become spiritually anemic. 

We all know people with whom it's hard to get along because their irritability or resentfulness casts a pall on the relationship.  We have to walk around them on "tippy toe" as my grandmother use to say.  In these situations we are called to not return resentment with resentment, or irritability with rudeness.  Love asks us not to let our emotions control our actions, but to stop: pray, breathe so we can calm ourselves, and then respond with kindness and forbearance.

Remember the story of Nabal and Abigail and David in  1 Samuel  25?  Nabal a wealthy man, living in Carmel, and under David's protection. He was a surly, abrasive man, while Abigail was kind-hearted and generous. When David sent word to Nabal for his tribute -- which was appropriate -- Nabal responded resentfully, rudely, raising David's ire.  David was planning to kill Nabal and his household.  Abigail got wind of the plan, and prepares a tribute for David and humbly approached David and pleaded for mercy.  Touched by her graciousness, David withdraws his threat.  Nabal, however, is holding a big feast (to which he has not invited David), and has a heart attack and dies. Nabal makes everyone's life miserable with his meanness and surliness. He puts their lives in danger by incurring David's wrath. Nabal, whose name means "fool," became a fool because of his grouchy resentful manner.  His wealth didn't help matters -- it just became an excuse to treat others poorly.  Abigail however, stands out as an example of  "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger Prov. 15:1."   We need to learn from Abigail's ability to handle difficult people with grace -- and how we can act when under fire.

For this week in Lent let us be extra mindful of irritability and resentfulness.  When we see in ourselves, let us immediately stop, let go and let God.  If we see it in others, let us use it as an opportunity to practice gentleness and kindness.

PRAY: "O God, when irritability and resentfulness raise their heads, help me to stop, breathe and count my blessings, leaving all in your hands.  Help me be kind and gracious like Abigail. "

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Going God's Way

2/19/2020

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"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Phil. 2:4"


  LISTEN TO: Everyone Matters:   The Hollis Boys, 6 and 7, "Speaking up for our sisters against hate"  
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObPoZCTTVeI    



Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.  
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 


As part of our 2020 resolution to become more Christ-like, we continue our walk through Paul's inspired passage on love.  
Paul breaks down for us what Love does, just as Jesus models for us in his actions and teachings how love acts and reacts 
in the world.  Today we reflect on love's trait on not insisting on its own way.  


Uh-oh. This is a tough one.  We are trained all our lives to have expert opinions and actions and to give them readily. Self-help sections at the bookstores encourage us along this way with titles like,  Winning Through Intimidation, Looking Out for Number One, or Creative Aggression.  Successful people are the ones who know how to put themselves forward, right?    They  have no problems getting up and expressing their opinions.  Taken to an extreme, we find it hard to listen to others.  To consider others' point of view.  Worse, we can come to the mistaken conclusion that if someone else speaks up, or suggests an idea, it reflects poorly on us.  We must come on top at all costs.

Love's way is different.  Yes we have a right to our educated opinions, idea and viewpoints. We don't necessarily have to give in .  However Love does not insist.  When we insist, we dig in. We are convinced our way is the only way.  We dwell on our opinions.  We become rigid and refuse to hear alternatives.  It becomes a contest of the wills, an win-loose proposition.  Love behaves differently.  Love has its perspective, and yes will advocate for it. But love will not not force its beliefs on others.  Love listens, considers, engages, and can even allow another decision or action to move forward, without bitterness or resentment.  Love is always concerned about dialogue and furthering connection.  No matter how educated and experienced, Love never flaunts it or believes it is so advanced that it can't learn  from someone else.

Two hunters were out hunting and come upon what appeared at first as an abandoned farm. The barn was sagging, the house was in disrepair, and there were junk cars and car parts lying around. The only thing that made it a working farm were a few chickens pecking away and a goat wandering around. As they entered the yard they came across an old well.

One asked the other "Wonder how deep it is."

The other said, "We'll have to drop something down and listen for the splash."

They look around for something to drop down the well, but the only thing close by was an old transmission. They both hauled it over to the well and dropped it in. They counted and waited a long time for the splash. It was deep, deep one all right.

They turned to leave and saw the goat was charging at them, head down, horns headed straight for them. At the last moment they jumped aside, and the goat went right past them and straight over the side and down the well. They looked at each other in amazement.

As they started to leave, the owner of the farm came up. They chatted for a moment and got permission to hunt on his land. The farmer asked, "Have you seen my goat?"

They said, "Your goat almost killed us charging at us. You should have had that goat tied up."

The farmer, "I thought I had him tied up to an old transmission."

We follow what we're tied to.   Let us be tied to love.


PRAY: " In every conservation we have today, may we listen and act with care for each person we meet."


"

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"How Rude!"

2/13/2020

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"And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. ...Luke 15:11-32"


  LISTEN TO: " 
If You Give a Little Love You Can Get a Little Love of Your Own"
  
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_JAlTxc1k4



Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.  
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "


As part of our 2020 resolution to become more Christ-like, we continue our walk through Paul's inspired passage on love.  Paul breaks down for us what Love does, just as Jesus models for us in his actions and teachings how love acts and reacts in the world.  Today we meditate on the the bad habit of being rude and how it gets in the way of love.


Sadly rudeness has encroached on our daily lives.  Have you ever heard someone be rude under the guise of "telling it like it is?" People hog seats on the train, carry on conversations on their cellphone while you're trying to rest or concentrate.  Drivers weave in and out of traffic -- cut in closely without signaling.  Sometimes there's an edge to our voice. People interrupt when someone else is speaking. Those emails --- that are snide and provocative.  We forget to say Thank you or show appreciation for other's efforts or gifts.  Think of our passage from Luke, the Prodigal Son.  I like to call this passage "the Rudest Brothers: Which One Is Worse?".  



Younger brother demands his inheritance from his father, who is far from death's door.  How insensitive is that! Unheard of!  The young fellow takes his money and leaves his family, and spends the inheritance on loose living--ignoring his spiritual inheritance in the process. When the young man comes to his senses and returns home -- apologizing to his father -- it's older brother's turn to be rude. He refuses to join the party, although he know how much his father wants him there. He cares nothing for his younger brother, and is unyielding in his judgment.   Both boys think only of themselves, their own situations.  They don't hesitate to tell their father what they believe, no matter how much it will hurt dad.  This is not how Jesus calls us to be!  Look at the father.  He doesn't return insult for insult -- with either son.  He waits. No doubt he prays every day. He checks the horizon.  He runs (unheard of for a dignified man of means!)  He embraces his wayward son. He forgives him.  He welcomes him back like a prince. When his elder son lashes out at him, he responds patiently, lovingly.  With both sons, he doesn't force his point of view -- he allows each son his free will. He seeks reconciliation.  That's the opposite of rudeness!  Yet, how many people would see this father as a "wimp," and not be able to recognize the strength and depth of his love?

Being rude is a sign of spiritual immaturity -- it's linguistic roots come from the word "rudis:" "unformed," inexperienced," or "unpolished."  In our ignorance we believe what we have to say is more important than someone's feelings.   There is a place and time for being blunt. But it must be handled with prayer and care.  We are called to cultivate kindness in speech, courtesy, and tact.  It's learning to balance the impact of your words and actions on others. It's learning to live like the father of those two rascals in Luke's parable -- a man experienced in love, formed by patience, and well polished -- he deals with the conflict with both sons in a way that his actions and words are healing and gracious. How many of us could overlook the offense given this father -- and continue to respond with such loving kindness?  When we are tempted to rudeness, or to react rudely to someone else's behavior,  let us reach for the higher spiritual ground --  and let loving graciousness rule the day!




PRAY: "O God, may my words and actions be courteous and helpful"

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Combating Arrogance

2/4/2020

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"To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’”But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’”I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”  Luke 18:9-14


LISTEN TO: Bob Marley, "One Love,"   
​
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoIPBdxhg04


Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.  
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "


As part of our 2020 resolution to become more Christ-like, we continue our walk through Paul's inspired passage on love.  Paul breaks down for us what Love does, just as Jesus models for us in his actions and teachings how love acts and reacts in the world.  Today we reflect on arrogance and how it gets in the way of love.  


Arrogance makes claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights over others.  The Latin root means "to presume." We presume our accomplishments or qualities makes us better than others.  God thinks otherwise!

In the parable that Jesus told in Luke, the Pharisee stood up front and thanked God for not making him like sinners -- robbers, evildoers, an adultery, or even the tax collector. The Pharisee has a disciplined spiritual practice -- he fasts twice a week (how many of us could claim that!) and he tithes -- he give a tenth of his income. Amazing!  How many churches would welcome such a giver!  But this Pharisee has a fatal flaw.  He has to make himself look more important by putting others down.  He has to flaunt the good he does, and rub it in. His prayer focuses on himself, not on God.  He doesn't pray for others.  Instead his attitude is, "God, aren't you lucky to have a disciple like me?"

The tax-collector, on the other hand, kept his distance. He doesn't even lift his eyes to heaven. He beats his breast in a sign of contribution and  begs-- "Lord have mercy on me a sinner." The tax collector knew his need for God.  For all we know, this tax-collector could have been just as arrogant or successful as the Pharisee up until this prayer. However something convicted him. Him wanted to change and be right with God.  Jesus states clearly:  The Tax-Collector went home justified by God, not the Pharisee.   It is this Tax Collector's prayer that forms the basis of the most popular, powerful and ancient of prayer in Christianity, the Jesus Prayer:  "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have mercy on me, a sinner."  There are many forms of this prayer, but at it's root it is a cry of the heart for forgiveness, help, and spiritual strength.  

The Tax Collector's Prayer, the Jesus Prayer, is an antidote to arrogance. It leads us into the stillness of our heart. The prayer is simple. We can pray it wherever we are. We learn to prayer it in rhythm with our breath -- and in doing so we become less agitated, more focused on God. We become open to grace.  It opens us up to self-knowledge. It helps us develop a right relationship with God and with others.  It is worth exploring as went enter the Lenten season. at the end of February. 


There's nothing wrong with having confidence. But love never takes  confidence to lord it over others; or to belittle others. Our spiritual task is to lift others up, not pull them down or make them feel badly.

This Lent, let us ask God's help for spiritual balance in our lives. Let us pray the Tax Collector's prayer daily.  Learn more about the Jesus prayer and make it a part of our spiritual routine.  By doing so, we keep our hearts from being contaminated by the bad habits that would block love from blooming in our heart.

 PS:  If you wish to know more about the Jesus Prayer, just drop me a line!


PRAY: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have mercy on me, a sinner."


 

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    Moirajo is a minister, social worker, wife, mother, writer and animal lover. That's just for starters. Join the story, there's so much we can share together! 

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